i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
