OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
