So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
