i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
