Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
