i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize