im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
