i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
