I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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