oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
