I should be sponsored by Trojan
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
