my text book just quoted the cookie monster
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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