omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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