I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
