i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
