Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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