I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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