You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
