I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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