i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
