just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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