You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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