just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
