Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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