fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize