Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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