Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
nutella sex= disaster
I intend to get homeless drunk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
