duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
