how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I FOUND THE LEGS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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