sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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