So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
