this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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