I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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