if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
