Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
