Just fell off a train. Bad.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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