I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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