I'm lost and stupid without you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
