sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
