dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
