Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
