I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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