he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize