I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I want a musical about memes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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