what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
