There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
