id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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