thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
