you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
