i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
