Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
