Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
