I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
