Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
