am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
