Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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