So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
