dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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