Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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