She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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