we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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